Why Choose an Out-of-Hospital Birth?

There are many reasons why a woman will choose to forgo the usual physician and hospital approach and have her baby outside of the hospital.  Regardless of the reason, out-of-hospital birth with a licensed midwife is a safe alternative for maternity care and birth.

Many women desire this option because they are interested in having a water birth, or laboring in water to ease labor pains.  The warm water relaxes muscles, which not only makes the contractions easier to manage, but makes for a gentler birth for baby.  Others elect to have midwifery care and out-of-hospital birth since they can labor and birth in whatever position feels comfortable to them; following their instincts and feeling what her body needs her to do, without being forced onto her back in a bed.

With an out-of-hospital birth, the mother is the decision maker and is completely supported by those around her.  There are no rooms full of strangers or loud noises, no people trying to hurry her labor process, and no unfamiliar machines wrapping themselves all around her making it difficult to labor effectively.  She is seen and honored for the unique person she is, and the brave journey she is undertaking in bringing her child Earth-side.

When you give birth at a licensed birthing center or in your home with a midwife, the connection created between everyone involved only deepens the emotions that flood the room at the time of birth: the sense of pride a mother feels as she brings her baby to her chest; the joy of a new father at being able to actively participate in the birth of his child; the peacefulness of a baby being born into a candle-lit room with soft music playing in the background; older siblings and family members being involved in the process.  The experience is incredible and life-changing for all involved!

So, why would you choose an out-of-hospital birth? 

Kaitlin's Birth Story: Emery

10/24/18: I texted Alex at 4:30pm and told her that I had been cramping through the night and off and on through the day. I texted her again at 6:30pm and let her know I had just had some blood tinged mucus. She asked if I was having any regular contractions and I told her they were about 10 minutes apart. She said great and to keep her updated. I also texted April (nurse friend) and let her know that I had lost some mucus plug. She told me to take a bath and maybe some Benadryl. I took a lavender bath along with Tylenol pm about 9pm. Ben and I went to bed about 10:30-11.

10/25/18: I woke up around 1am unable to stay in bed because the contractions were more intense lying down. I got up and went to the bathroom. I then decided to stay on the toilet and got my pillow and sat backwards in the toilet resting my head on my pillow between contractions. I timed the contractions for about an hour and they were 4-5 mins apart. I called April at 2:40 and asked her if she could come down and check me just to make sure I didn’t need to call Alex yet because I wasn’t sure if this was the real deal or not. She got here at 3:20am.

When she checked she said I was a 5.5 80% zero station. She later said she thinks I was more like a 6-6.5. I called Alex and let her know. She said she would head this way and for us to call Silvia (midwife) if we felt like we needed a midwife sooner since it would take her a while to drive here. She said that if I was comfortable with April monitoring she wanted her to get a full set of vitals on me and check FHTs every 30 mins.

I labored for a bit in the kitchen and living room, having to stand and breath through contractions.  I then decided I should probably get Ben up so he could start working on getting the tub up. While he blew it up, I picked up some of the bedroom and then stayed in the kitchen. I had to throw up at one point and contractions were about 2-3 minutes apart. I became vocal through contractions at this point. Once Ben had the tub aired up, I moved back into the bedroom. I labored on hands and knees on the bed with my upper body resting on the ball for a few contractions and then would stand up and lean over the bed for a few. Ben was right next to me rubbing my back and offering sips of water while the tub was being filled up with water.

 Annalee (photographer) arrived and starting taking photos. April stayed by me and reminded me to use a low tone and Ben would vocalize with me through each contraction. April stayed in touch with Alex during this time and had called Silvia to head over. Once the tub had enough water, I changed into my birth bra and got ready to get in. Silvia arrived and brought in her bags. Around 5:30am Alex arrived just a few minutes later and brought in all her stuff.

 I got in the pool and contractions were immediately more manageable. I labored in the pool for a while breathing and vocalizing through contractions. Alex checked heart tones regularly which stayed in the 140s. I changed positions frequently from leaning over the edge of the pool to hands and knees and sometimes sitting back on the seat in the pool. Ben asked if I wanted music and I told him I was enjoying the quiet. April had to remind me pretty often to keep a lower tone which was really helpful and she would remind me to slow my breathing down. Ben vocalized with me through each contraction. At one point he had to go to the bathroom and him being out of the room was so noticed. I almost asked where he was but he came back in the room. He fanned me with a cool wash rag.

I started to feel the urge to push and was letting my body bear down adding little pushes at the end. After what felt like at least 30 minutes I tried sitting up on the seat to push. I tried that for about 30 minutes and Alex asked if I felt her head moving down. I said maybe a little bit, but not really. I asked her to check me to see what was going on because I didn’t want to be pushing if it wasn’t time. She checked and said I was an 8 but the bag was bulging and that was probably why I felt the urge to push. I asked what we could do and she said she could break my water if I wanted. I told her to do it. She broke my water and I instantly felt baby’s head move down. I kept breathing and let my body push her down. Then I started feeling a really intense pressure in my butt and it was so uncomfortable that I had to get on my hands and knees. I reached down and could feel her head. It was only a few more contractions with some little pushes and her head was out.  Alex said she had cord around her neck, but it was too tight to move, so I pushed and her shoulders came out and then she was here! Ben was helping catch her and Alex told him to hold on so she could get the cord off her neck before she came out of the water. She had the cord around her neck 3 times tight. Alex unwrapped her cord and helped me get her on my chest. I just couldn’t even believe that we just had my dream home birth! She was born at 8:19am.

Ben came around and kissed us both.

Alex had me check a few times to see if the cord was still pulsing. She asked if I wanted to deliver the placenta in the tub or move to the bed. I told her we could move to the bed. Emery was trying to latch and I thought it would be easier if we were in the bed. After the placenta was delivered Alex checked to see if I tore. No tears!!

 My mom came in and saw us. She then went and got Porter out of his bed and brought him in. He was so sweet and confused by baby sister.

We took a big group picture. Then everybody cleared out so we could have some family time. It was so amazing being in our bed after just having a baby. After Alex was unable to attend the birth of our first child due to being ill at the last minute, I desperately wanted her to be there for the second. I am so so glad that she was! Having the presence of such a knowledgeable, calming and reassuring midwife was everything I could have imagined. I am so thankful and happy to say that having Alex present at the birth of our Emery Jane did not disappoint! Home birth for the win!!

Elise's Birth Story: River

"2 days after my due date I had been having contractions consistently since 6am every ten minutes. Naps, cleaning, chiropractor appointment, walking, and eating all that day didn't speed things up. I would have bouts where the contractions would be 5 minutes apart but would slow back down any time I rested. I gave my birth team a heads up that this looked just like my other labors and we were going to be in it for the long haul. 

"Throughout the next night my contractions were way too painful to keep laying on my back. I would either flip over to contract on all fours or get out of bed to lean over against the bed. I really wanted my husband to get some quality sleep because I didn't know how long this labor was going to last. It took so much self-control to labor silently and not ask him for help. I realize in hindsight that it would have been okay to ask him and to even call my doula for more support, but I still thought it was too early for any of that.

"Finally, around 5am I couldn't stay in bed anymore. Laying down, flipping around and whatnot was just making me more exhausted and making my hair a ratted bird's nest.

"At around 7am I called my midwife, Alex, just to give her a heads up that my contractions were every 5 minutes or so apart but that she probably had plenty of time. She promptly disregarded me and said she would be there in 30 minutes. (I'm so glad she did this because it was getting more intense by the minute and without realizing it I needed her and my whole birth team)

"She encouraged me to call my doula, Sarah, to come over knowing I should have called her several hours prior. I went ahead and called her and my birth photographer, Lauren. My doula showed up 10 minutes later with my midwife and photographer arriving quickly afterward.

"They blew up the birth pool and got everything ready as I labored and Alex checked me for the first time. I was 5cm and around 85% effaced. ONLY 5CM!!! After 26 hours, I was a little heartbroken that I wasn't further along.

"The next few hours are somewhat a blur. I paced around my living, leaned against my husband, leaned against the couch, got on all fours leaning against the birth ball with counter-pressure from either my husband or my doula, and tried other positions to relieve some pain during the contractions. This labor was different from my first two in that I found tremendous relief getting on all fours and having counter pressure. These contractions were tricky this birth. This baby was flipping constantly in my belly making me have back labor when sunny side up and front labor when OA, in the correct position. No position or counter pressure really alleviated any pain this time around. It was odd and I was desperate.

"I kept making my way back to the toilet to labor, not because it was more comfortable but because I felt like I was making the most progress in this position. If I couldn't alleviate the pain I wanted to go away faster, thus, I wanted to dilate and efface as fast as I could. I had Alex check me again around 9:30am and I was 7cm dilated. I was making good progress, but not as fast as I'd hoped.

"A couple more hours went by and I had only progressed 1cm. I was sitting at 8cm and FIGHTING the urge to push with everything I had. I was having to blow raspberries each contraction to stop myself. This all only led to more vomiting and dehydration. At one point, Alex was concerned with my extremely lethargic state and what she was hearing on her doppler of the baby's heartbeat. We all decided an IV was best. She and Elyse, her assistant, started an IV and my poor husband had to hold it up high for almost 45 minutes while I napped between contractions and labored. 

"Finally, once my bag of fluids was emptied, she checked me again. I was still 8cm, but I was 100% effaced. She said I easily stretched to 9 - 9.5cm during a contraction, but I just wasn't dilating over baby's head. She gave me the option to continue to labor or during a contraction she could easily stretch me to a 10. After consulting my husband and doula, we decided to go for it even though I knew it would be painful.

"The next contraction she easily stretched me to 10cm before it was over. She exclaimed, "you're complete!" I sat up and we all walked from my bed to the birth pool. I climbed in with my husband right behind me. 

"I pushed the head out and my water broke. One shoulder came out and Alex had me lean back on to my husband. The next contraction the second shoulder and the rest of the baby came out. I reached down to help catch my third baby and my midwife and I slowly transitioned this sweet baby out of the water. She looked straight up with arms spread wide.

"As soon as I brought the baby up to my chest I was so relieved to be finished. My husband immediately asked me the gender of the baby to which I immediately responded, "I don't even care!" I was just glad this baby was here.

"After about 4-5 minutes I finally decided to look to see whether we had a boy or girl. When I looked and saw we had made a little girl I was in complete disbelief! It was definitely the best surprise of my life!

"My trajectory of emotions went from shock, surprise, and overwhelming joy leading to so many happy tears.

"After 31 hours of labor, we welcomed River Eden. She was born at 1:06pm after 7 minutes of pushing. She weighed 7pounds 7ounces and measured 20inches long." ~Elise H. 

Tricia's Birth Story: Emiliana

"Kingston (first son) had been sick with a fever so Zach (husband) slept with Kingston in his room so we could try and prevent Teddy (second son) from getting sick. Our plans were for the boys to be in the room during Emiliana’s birth. Unfortunately Teddy started coughing early Tuesday morning. It was a rough night for him. He did throw up twice on me that night from coughing. I think I maybe got about 3 hours of sleep.

"I felt a couple contractions that were very mild and had gone to bathroom. Zach was about to leave for work when I told him I may be in labor. Since I had tested GBS +, we needed to let Alex, our midwife, know right away. We decided to get IV antibiotics, but for them to be most effective they needed to in my system for 4 hours. We were a little worried I wouldn't hit the 4 hour mark since I'd had faster labors before. I texted Alex around 8:30 AM that contractions were about 8 minutes apart and lasting about a minute. She told me to drink some more water and lay on the sofa so we could determine if was actually labor. Contractions did space out to 15-20 minutes apart.

"She arrived at our house and checked me and I was 5 cm, 70% effaced, and 0 station. Zach called our family friend Stacy that it was time to head over to help with the boys. Got the IV at 10:08 AM. I had to hold my arm still for the antibiotics which was about 15 minutes. I didn't want the fixed IV, since I couldn't get it wet and wanted to be able to get in the birth tub. After the antibiotics, I wanted to get labor going so Zach and I went for a walk. Got back and took some tincture from Alex to get contractions to be more consistent. At 11:43 AM they were still mild, 10 mins apart and about 50 seconds long. We kept on walking. I think we walked around the block about 6 or 7 times total. It was nice getting to spend time just two of us! Zach ordered everyone pizza, so we stopped walking to eat. I ate little bit of the pasta and a breadstick.

"Unfortunately at 1:30 PM contractions slowed down to 12 minutes apart and still mild. Got my second IV at 2:28 PM. At 2:56 PM contractions were 4-5 minutes apart and moderate. I walked around our room and did some squats to try and get into active labor. At 3:10 PM, Alex checked me again, I was 6.5 cm, bulgy bag of waters, 0 station, 80% effaced. I decided to let Alex break my water because I was so ready to meet Emiliana! Water was broken at 3:24 PM. I was 7.5 cm, and +1 station. I got in the tub at 3:30 PM with strong contractions 3-4 minutes apart.

"The water did give a little relief. At 3:56 PM I was on hands and knees with contractions every 3 minutes. I was facing Zach and holding onto his hands. He was so great at encouraging to keep going and rubbing my back.

"At 4 PM I had the urge to push. At 4:03 PM I started to breathe her down with contractions every 1-2 minutes. At 4:08 PM I had a fat anterior lip of cervix, 7 cm, 90%effaced, and +1 station. I had to get on my bottom so Alex could check me. I kept holding onto zachs arms. 4:11 PM I was 8 cm, Alex gave me arnica to help with the swelling of my cervix and Alex was holding the cervix up because instead of Emiliana's head going through the cervix like a turtleneck, her head was pushing my cervix into my pubic bone. At 4:23 I was having spontaneous pushing. Holding onto Zach really helped me. It was so difficult not to scream and just focus on breathing and pushing her towards my bottom.   At some point I did tell them to “get her out of me!”. At 4:30 PM I was given some more arnica, Alex was still holding the lip of cervix since I had just the anterior lip of cervix still. At 4:37 PM I was finally 10 cm and the lip of cervix was out of the way. At 4:40 PM could see her head while I pushed. At 4:43 PM Emiliana’s head crowned, 10 seconds later her head was out. Emiliana's left arm was under her chin with her hand touching her right cheek. So the biggest part of her head and hand to come out since she couldn't flex her chin to chin on her chest. She was left occiput anterior. At 4:44 PM Emiliana Rey Madrid was born on February 7th, 2017! I reached down and grabbed her and brought her to my chest! Crowning to birth was only 40 seconds! All of our labor was a little over 8 hrs but active labor a little over an hour and pushing about 7 minutes!

"When they were helping us get out of the tub, right as I stood up outside the tub my placenta and all the blood came gushing out of me. I still don't know how Alex caught the placenta. I said “OMG that's a lot of blood, is everything ok?” Alex told me to look up and don't look down and they continued to get me to our bed which was just a few steps away. Allison got a towel and cleaned up my legs. Zach cut the cord at 4:55 PM! 

"I was having a little more blood clots so Alex decided it was best to give me a shot of pitocin in the thigh and it burned so bad while she injected it. Alex did the newborn exam at 5:51 PM, Emiliana was 7 lbs 9 oz, 20 in long, head 13.5 in, and chest was 13 in!

"I can't even tell you how much Zach helped me get through labor. Alex was such a great midwife, staying calm and encouraging me! Another midwife, Salem came all the way from Amarillo to assist Alex and she was also great and got the birth on video! Alex also had her assistant in training Allison come to take pics for us which turned out great! Stacy was so awesome to take care our boys while they were sick and just hang out and wait!"

~Tricia M.

Shannon's Birth Story: Parker

I woke up early before anyone else on the morning of January 28th to take a pregnancy test. I remember feeling so anxious to see the results. I knew I would be heartbroken to see another negative test, after trying for 13 months to get pregnant. I sat there in the bathroom shaking while I prayed that God’s Will be done and that no matter what the results were, I would be content. (Philippians 4:4) I looked to find a POSITIVE TEST! Praise God!

I ran to wake David up and told him he was going to be a dad again. He was so excited! As I look back over those difficult months, I thank God for that time that he helped us grow closer to Him and grow stronger in our marriage. (Romans 5:3-4, James 1:2-4) It was hard. There were a lot of tears and sadness. But those trying months made me a better person. I also realized how much God had already blessed me with and to be thankful for everything.

We decided this pregnancy not to find out what we were having until the baby was born. We were excited about finding out at the birth, but it was quite suspenseful for our families! I had a pretty easy pregnancy. I had some “morning” sickness until about 16 weeks, but nothing too terrible. From around 29 weeks till about 34 weeks, our baby was still flipping around pretty often, mostly lying transverse or head down. We had a pretty active little one! Dr. Jenna Hillman, our family chiropractor, was a huge help getting her to stay head down and relieving my aches and pains.

On the morning of Tuesday, October 6, two days before our “due date”, I noticed I had a little bloody show as I was getting ready for the day. I called our Midwife, Alex, and she said labor could start anytime or as long as 2 or 3 days from now. She told me to rest and take it easy that day. I had packed a full day of errands in town for the day, so I went as fast as I could to finish and rushed home. My daughter, Corley, and I took a late nap together and I remember wondering if this might be our last nap to take together just the two of us. I savored every moment of that time with my oldest child.

We went to bed that night with no signs of labor happening anytime soon. It was about 10:30 when I started thinking labor would never start and I would be pregnant for the rest of my life. (haha!) About 11:30 I was awakened by a mild contraction. I was able to sleep through several contractions. It was some time after midnight when the contractions got to be more difficult to sleep through and I had to get out of bed to manage them. I started timing them and they were about 5 minutes apart. I called Alex to update her on my progress and she told me to take a shower and eat some breakfast and she would call me in 30 minutes. I started getting things together and packing food and essential oils. I called my mom to update her too. Labor kept progressing quickly. David woke up about 2:45 and we decided to find a good show on Netflix to pass the time. (Labor with our first daughter was 37 hours and we figured we would have a long labor again.) Before he could even press play, I had a hard contraction and needed his help. Alex called again, but I could hardly talk. She told us to meet her at the birth center. I called my mom and she quickly came over to watch Corley while we headed to the birth center.

We left the house about 4:15am. I didn’t realize at the time that while in the car, I was in transition. David drove fast. I turned around and sat on my knees and held onto my seat while taking each contraction at a time. About 15 minutes down the road, my water broke. Contractions were very, very strong at this point. I told David that I had the urge to push and he told me “Hold it in!!” (haha!) I grabbed my phone and dialed Alex’s number and told David to talk to her. She helped us stay focused while we really rushed to the birth center. During each contraction, I had to resist the urge to push. I felt like throwing up. It was really hard to stay focused.

We arrived at the birth center at 4:41 where our midwives Alex and Elizabeth met us at the car and helped me walk in. Another contraction came on while we were in the waiting room. Alex told me the head was not crowning yet and asked if I wanted to get in the tub. I definitely wanted to! We got to our room and the tub wasn’t full yet so I got on the bed. Another contraction came. Our doula, Michal, stroked my forehead and that felt good. Alex said the head was crowning and brought my hand to touch our baby’s head. That was so awesome!! Another contraction came. I remember Alex saying “Here comes the head, and oh here comes the body!” Our baby was born! David announced “She’s a girl!” She was absolutely perfect!! Born just 7 minutes after arriving at the birth center, at 4:48am, it was a crazy, fast, thrilling morning!

We named our baby girl Parker Lane. I held her and nursed her for the next couple of hours. Parker weighed 8 lbs and was 21 inches long. There is nothing better than holding your brand new baby. My love grew more than I ever thought possible at that moment. I remember the atmosphere being so calm and peaceful and exciting all at the same time. David and I laughed thinking about how we thought we would be in labor a lot longer since Corley’s labor was so long. Parker’s birth was about 5 hours long. It was so healing for me in a way, because Corley’s birth ended in an intervention that we had hoped to avoid, and I wanted to be able to birth our next baby naturally.

To know that God gave me the ability and strength to birth my baby and I was able to do that meant a lot to me. Alex made us feel comfortable and we liked her and trusted her from the first time we met her. She is an amazing midwife and we are so grateful she helped us have such a wonderful birth.

Nutrition During Pregnancy and Breastfeeding

When you’re preparing to become a mother, it can be overwhelming trying to figure out what is best for you and your baby.  What foods should your eat, what vitamins to take, and if there is anything you need to avoid.  I’ve tried to break down the multitude of information out there and put it together in a way that would be easy to read and reference...

Daily Food Intake

Your calorie needs increase while you are pregnant and breastfeeding, and while you need these extra calories, it is important to get them from sources that are nutritionally beneficial (rather than the ice cream and candy that I mistakenly indulged in!).  During pregnancy you need roughly 300 calories more and during breastfeeding 500 calories more per day.   Adding in an extra nutritionally rich snack (such as nuts, seeds, or lean meats) can make this easy to achieve. 

It can also be helpful to break up your meals over the course of the day, rather than just eating three large ones.  Usually 3 meals, and 3 snacks spread throughout the day can not only help you maintain your blood sugar so there’s less nausea, but it can also help you to get all the necessary nutrients in that your body needs. 

Protein is incredibly beneficial for moms during pregnancy.  Studies have shown that diets high in protein can help reduce the risk of developing Preeclampsia, Gestational Diabetes, preterm labor and helps support a growing baby and placenta.  The recommendation for protein intake is 80-100g per day.  If you’re having trouble getting enough each day, try sneaking in a plant-based protein shake, homemade trail mix, putting meat on a salad or in pasta sauce, etc.

Water is also essential for pregnant moms and especially breastfeeding ones.  A lack of adequate fluid intake can lead to dehydration, decreased amniotic fluid, decreased milk supply, etc.  During cooler weather, the recommendation is about 2.5-3L (80-100oz), but during the warmer months, that should be increased to 3.5-4L (115-130oz).  You’ll need to drink more if you are exercising or going to be outside for an extended period of time.

Nutritional Supplements

Vitamins and supplements can be helpful with filling in the gaps in nutrition and creating a well-rounded diet.  (Please note, this is not intended to be medical advice for you since you might have health concerns that would require alteration of these supplements.  Please check with your care provider before changing supplements.)  While this is not a complete list of everything that would be helpful during pregnancy/breastfeeding, here are the basic ones I recommend to all my clients:

• Prenatal Vitamins: Preferably food-based and high quality.  Most easily found at a natural foods store.  Food-based prenatals are utilized best within the body so more nutrients reach mom and baby.  The one that I most recommend is "Mega Food: Baby and Me".
• Calcium/Magnesium: Best before bedtime to help with leg cramps and difficulties sleeping.
• Red Raspberry Leaf Tea: 1 cup of tea or 1 capsule per day, per each trimester pregnant.  Helps tone the uterus and minimizes postpartum bleeding.
• Nettle Tea: 1 -2 cups per day.  Good source of iron to prevent anemia and boost red blood cells.
• Iron (if you are anemic): Food-based works best within the body without causing constipation.  Recommended brands are "Hemaplex", "Floradix", and "Ferrofood".  Helps to build red blood cells and increase energy levels associated with anemia.
• Omega 3s/DHA: A high quality brand is best for working efficiently within the body without the “fishy” aftertaste.  Take pills or liquid as recommended. Beneficial for healthy fetal brain development, and maintaining a balanced production of prostaglandins which support the heart, immune system and the central nervous system.  The brand that I recommend most is "Nordic Naturals".
• Vitamin D3: 2,000-4,000 IU per day, more if you are feeling sick.  Helps maintain proper levels of calcium and phosphorus which build fetal bones and teeth and help prevent skeletal deformities.
• Probiotics: Take as recommended on the bottle, but make sure it’s a good quality one.  It should either be refrigerated or say that it has “guaranteed live and active cultures” with an expiration date.  This will help boost your immune system and keep your gut healthy.  I usually recommend "Jarrodophilis with Enteroguard".

Foods to Avoid

Most of the time, you are fine to eat anything that you’d like during pregnancy and breastfeeding (Within reason!).  When you have a healthy balanced diet, it’s fine to occasionally splurge and indulge in your cravings, but here are some things that you should try to avoid whenever possible as they could be harmful for you or baby.

• Caffeine (more than 2 cups of coffee is too much)
• Excessive sugar or simple carbohydrates
• Artificial Sweeteners (Splenda, Aspartame, Sucralose, etc)
• Alcohol
• Deli Meats and Soft Cheeses (warm meats and hard cheeses are preferable)
• Raw Dairy
• Raw Fish
• Some Herbs/Tinctures (please contact your care provider for a complete list)

Hopefully you find this guide helpful and it eases your mind….or at least this is one less thing you have to research.  Ultimately though, just do the best you can and that's all you can do!

Your Placenta....It's What's Good for You!!

“You ate your what?!?!”

“Ewwww….that’s gross!!  We’re not animals!”                  

“What are the benefits of doing that?”     

“How do you eat it?”

“Do you have to have a home birth to do that?”

“How do I find someone to help me with it and what does it cost?”

These are the questions/statements I hear most often when people find out that not only do I encapsulate placentas, but that I ate my own!  When people hear about placenta encapsulation, they usually react in one of several ways: 1) Curiosity, 2) Disgust, or 3) Fascination.  I’m going to answer the questions that many people ask when they want to learn more, and then you can decide for yourself if placenta encapsulation is right for you!

“You ate your what?!”

My placenta!  It’s the organ that my body created specifically for the purpose of keeping my child alive and producing beneficial hormones during the months of pregnancy.  It’s actually pretty incredible if you think about it.  The placenta consists of two sides, an amniotic sac and an umbilical cord. 

This first picture is of the fetal side that your baby snuggles up to (his first pillow! ;-) ).  See why they call it the tree of life?  The placenta looks like the branches with all the blood vessels, and the umbilical cord is the trunk of the tree.

The second picture is also of the fetal side, but closer and in color so you can the blood vessels running through it to the cord and into your baby, carrying nutrients, blood and oxygen.   Aren’t the colors pretty and vibrant?

This third picture is of the maternal side that attaches to your uterus.  Nutrients, blood and oxygen come from your body, into your uterus and then transfer to the fetal side through this part.  It definitely looks more “meaty” and less attractive, but it’s important nonetheless!

The fourth picture is of the amniotic sac stretched out so that you can see where your baby was living for the past months (except imagine there was no hole and it was filled with fluid like a big water balloon).  Those amniotic membranes are so strong they can withstand the weight of a 1-2 pound placenta being hung from it like that without breaking!

“Ewwww…..that’s gross!!  We’re not animals!”

Well, actually, we are.  We’re mammals, and oddly enough, the only ones who don’t regularly consume their placentas after birth.  I get that many people think it’s weird and gross to eat a placenta, but no more so than eating organ meat or drinking milk from another animal.  And, you get the added benefit of knowing that your placenta is safe, healthy, free of disease and hormones (so long as you are….it’s only going to be as healthy as you grew it to be). 

“What are the benefits of doing that?”     

Placentophagy (the act of eating a placenta), while relatively new to the United States, has been a part of Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) since the 1500s.  The Chinese regularly use placentas in their medicines for treatment of many reproductive problems or disorders.  While there have been no large human studies performed, animal studies have shown the benefits of ingesting placentas and there are many women who claim it has helped them greatly as well. 

The claimed benefits of placentophagy are:

• helping to balance hormone levels and reduce feelings of depression
• reducing postpartum bleeding
• quicker return of the uterus to pre-pregnancy size
• maintaining or boosting milk production
• increasing iron levels
• increasing libido and energy
• decreasing or halting hair loss

"How do you eat it?”

There are several ways people can ingest their placentas for nutritional benefits: encapsulation, blended in a smoothie, raw or any other way they desire, just depending on the comfort level and convenience the mother desires.   

The raw method came about when a midwife had a mom bleeding too much postpartum, and she cut off a small piece of the placenta and placed it under the tongue of the mother.  The story goes that within minutes, the bleeding had stopped and the mother stabilized.  For women with whom this idea resonates, but who don’t want to actually taste their placenta, they can mix some small chunks of placenta with fruit and blend it into a fruit smoothie to drink within a couple hours of birth.  The taste of the fruit overwhelms any taste from the placenta (especially if you put banana in it).

The other main method is encapsulation.  This involves dehydrating the placenta into thin slices (like beef jerky) and then grinding the pieces into a thin powder to be placed in capsules.  You then take them like regular supplements a couple times a day.  It is important that there be absolutely no moisture present when they are placed into the capsules otherwise that’s when bacteria can grow.  When they are completely dry, bacteria and other organisms cannot survive and that’s what makes it safer for consumption over a longer period of time.

“Do you have to have a home birth to eat your placenta?”

You don’t need to have a home birth, but having an out-of-hospital birth definitely makes it easier.  Midwives typically don’t care what you want to do with your placenta because we consider it to be yours and therefore, it’s your decision.  Hospitals generally see your placenta as biohazard waste material and are very reluctant to release it.  Granted, I’ve had some hospitals just have you sign a waiver and that was it, but others, you had to pay to get a court order, and even then they wouldn’t release it.  If you are planning to have a hospital birth, call them or check with your doctor about the hospital’s policy so that you’re not surprised in the moment.

“How do I find someone and what does it cost?”

This all depends on what you are planning to do with your placenta.  If you are going with the raw method, you don’t need the help of a professional (though I would encourage you to treat yours like any other meat and keep it refrigerated, and know it will only be “good” for a few days).  If you are planning to encapsulate, you can either buy the necessary equipment and do it yourself (or rather find a friend to do it for you since you should be in bed resting!), or you can find an experienced professional.  Finding someone to encapsulate your placenta is generally fairly easy if you live close to a major city since you can google it.  Or ask a friend who has done it before.  Many placenta professionals are also midwives or doulas as well.  The most important thing is to make sure that the person you hire is experienced and very meticulous with cleaning and preparation protocols.  You want to make sure that you’re getting your own placenta and that it was prepared in such a way so that it will be safe for you to take.  Most professionals will charge between $200-$300 depending on the area you live in.

The decision to ingest your placenta isn’t something for everyone, but I think it’s definitely worth looking into and doing your research.  If you live in Lubbock or the surrounding areas, feel free to contact me for placenta encapsulation, I’d be happy to help!

Amelia's Birth Story: Londyn

Londyn Beth was born March 12, 2016 at 5:22pm, weighing 7lbs. 11oz. (exactly the same as Jameson) and was 20 1/4inches in length. Londyn came 7 days late and we were all anxiously awaiting her arrival. We had a beautiful water birth at our home in Lubbock, Texas with Grandma Robertson visiting to witness the birth. It was perfect, she is perfect and once again I’m reminded of the beauty, the sacredness and the miracle of birth. Here’s how the story went...

Londyn was a surprise pregnancy but a welcome surprise from God. I took a pregnancy test intentionally after my husband, Paul, had left for work. It was positive. My first response went from surprise to excitement to tears of joy and then tears of fear. This would be my 3rd pregnancy in 3 years. With a 10 month old son still breastfeeding, a 2 year old, and a 5 year old I felt overwhelmed and doubted my ability to mother another child just yet. I kept it to myself all day as I pondered the results. Even when Paul got home I didn’t tell him until after the kids had gone to bed (this is surprising I could keep it a secret with him home). I wondered what his response would be. He was excited and shocked. Once we talked it over I felt much more at peace about the pregnancy. We discussed the incredible blessing it is to be parents and, of course, would gladly welcome all the children God had planned for us to raise. We were very excited that an out-of-hospital birth would be an option this time, out of my 3 previous pregnancies we’ve had 1 homebirth.  I longed to have my baby in our own home without restricitons. With some intricate planning from God we were able to have a home birth, like Paul and I so hoped.

At 40 weeks and 3 days, on a Tuesday, I had my midwife, Alex, come to strip my membranes for the first time. I was so tired of being pregnant and wanted to attempt this to help get labor started. Mom had been visiting for 2 weeks waiting to witness Londyn’s birth and I knew everyday mom was here and I was still pregnant was one less day she’d be here after I had the baby and really needed her help. After stripping my membranes Alex told me she wasn’t 100% sure it’d work. I was dilated only to 2cm and 30% effaced and baby’s head was at a -2 position (still fairly high) she said if baby was really ready it’d work. I was crampy, had a few contractions come and go but nothing that convinced me labor was beginning. We gave it the typical 24 hours but nothing happened. I was disappointed of course but having mom there as my friend and helper all day kept my mind off labor, or the lack thereof. I really didn’t want to try anything harsh to get labor going so I declined castor oil, and tried not to wear myself out with too much walking.

For the days to come I did squats and other exercises to get Londyn to move further down and push on my cervix to help it open up. Saturday rolled around (I was now exactly 41 weeks) and we attempted stripping my membranes again at 12:30pm. This time Alex was confident it would work, by the time she finished I was dilated to 6cm and 70% effaced and Londyn had moved down (my squats worked!), Alex even felt her ear while stripping my membranes. Alex said, “I think it’s going to work this time. I bet I’ll go home for lunch and be back in a couple hours.” She was right, this time it had jump started labor.

I began contracting 45 minutes later. The contractions were neither consistent, nor intense so I was hesitant to get my hopes up. Mom had taken our other three kids to lunch and I called her to bring them home since this was probably real labor and we’d get them to a babysitters. Like my previous births I was nervous contractions would stop and didn’t want to call Alex, get everyone here and then have it be false. So I kept putting the phone call off telling Paul, “Let’s just time them for a little longer and see if they regulate.” But based on our last 2 births that happened so quickly and without a doctor/midwife present, my husband, Paul, insisted I call Alex and he was right to do so. I gave Alex a call and told her contractions were about 4-6 minutes apart, lasting 55 seconds and mild. She said she’d be on her way (it was about 1:30 by this time). Paul and I went for a walk to keep contractions going and when we got back everyone was here setting up (about 2:00pm now). We had Alex, her assistant Sarah (a registered nurse) and another registered nurse, Elise, who mostly there to observe (this was her first time witnessing a homebirth), as well as Mom. I was impressed at their quickness to get to the house and start setting up, I was also relieved to know that this time around we’d have all our support team here and ready for the birth. I knew then that this birth would be much more relaxing and calm than our last few experiences.

Contractions slowly got more intense but weren’t getting closer together. This was different because in the past when I’ve started labor it has been text book: mild contractions to more intense and closer together, it’s also gone quickly. These were a bit irregular and I felt that they weren’t’ intensifying very quickly. Paul gave me a Priesthood blessing, my gratitude for a husband worthy of that power is deep. In the blessing he said my body would be able to do what my body was built for and that my mind would be strong, he also blessed that our baby would be health and strong. Those words and my faith gave me peace.

Although I really disliked standing while contracting, each time I sat on the exercise ball contractions would slow, so Paul and I walked around the house and backyard. It was the most beautiful day with the sun shining, birds chirping and perfect weather. We walked back and forth in the backyard, talking about where we could plant our garden and what yard improvements to make this spring. Each time I felt a contraction coming Paul would talk me through it as I leaned against his chest and breathed. Alex offered to give me black and blue cohosh to help get contractions consistent as well as Clary Sage oil to rub on my stomach and inhale. Every few contractions Alex would check baby’s heart rate. Londyn was handling contractions like a champ. About 2 hours into labor I was frustrated that this wasn’t going faster, I didn’t feel like contractions were very intense yet and I thought they should be by this time, based on my previous experiences. At one point Alex was sitting in front of me as I rocked on our exercise ball frustrated that contractions weren’t intensifying as quickly as they had with my other births and she said, “Amelia, this is what normal labor is like for most other women and your just used to it going fast.” It made me laugh, but she was right, I tried to refocus my frustration into more positive thoughts.

Alex and Elise put some Clary Sage oil on my hands and put pressure in between my thumb and index finger, a pressure point that is supposed to help encourage the bags of water to break. Although Paul and I were laboring together well Alex began rubbing my back, the touch was different and felt so good. It was also great to have her encouraging me with different phrases than Paul had used. I let my mind listen. I think having a woman’s voice was calming and encouraging. About 20 minutes (4:45pm) later while in the backyard my water broke during a contraction. At that point my body began to shake uncontrollably and I knew I was transitioning. This is when it gets hard. I was ready to get in the tub.

The tub felt so good! Our water heater had been wacky and although I would’ve like warmer water I knew I wouldn’t be in the tub long. I lay over the side of the tub and hugged Paul, cried and did my best to get through the roughest contractions yet. I listened to Alex’s encouraging words and her reminders to let my pelvis open up, relax and let baby descend. My body continued to shake but I didn’t try to hold the shakes back, I let my body relax. It’s incredible to feel all that’s going on during labor and birth. To feel my body do what it knows, what it was built to do. I love giving birth, I love being present and fully aware of what’s going on and also in full control. It really is so incredible! At this point I had another very intense contraction, about 5 seconds into the contraction I felt baby coming! Londyn, like Jameson and Grace (my previous 2 births), didn’t crown nor did we have any visual of her before this point. I could feel her head moving down. It was amazing! I was so much more aware this time instead of frantic and concerned about the lack of a medical provider being there. “She’s coming.” I told everyone as I moved to the back of the tub in preparation to catch Londyn myself. I reached down to feel her head coming out, as I kept my hand on her head I had a short time to take a deep breath and with the rest of the contraction her body slid out. “Catch her Amelia.” Alex said to me as I looked down and grabbed Londyn from the water and placed her on my chest.

She was here! And she was perfect! She let out an immediate cry as I held her on my chest and stroked her sweet tiny body. Labor was quick, approximately 4 hours from start to finish and the actual birth was just like Jameson’s and Grace’s, ending very quickly with just one contraction (she was fully born within 10 seconds), without pushing and no “ring of fire” burning.

But with all the similarities, Londyn’s birth was also very different. I was so much more aware, I was calmer, I loved the help of my support group rubbing my back and giving me holistic options to help with labor which I’d never had before, I had supporters laughing in between contractions with me and making sure I drank my water and kept my body strong.

I’m so thankful the Lord blessed us with a successful home birth. He also blessed me with an able body to do go through such an incredible and empowering journey. I almost feel addicted to giving birth, it makes me feel so able and then I get to have this brand new life in my arms to care for, love and cherish for all eternity. 

Childbirth Education Classes....Why do I Need Them?

Statistically, people do more research when buying a car than they do when having a baby...isn't that shocking?!  I think childbirth education (CBE) classes are the equivalent to taking Driver’s Ed when you’re a teenager: 1) You take them because you want to and should know what’s going on within the “vehicle”, 2) So that you learn how to take action to make appropriate decisions, and 3) So that you don’t have regrets after the fact if things don’t go your way.  But what type of CBE class should you take?  Where should you take them?  When should you start?  What will the classes discuss?  Do you need to take them if you already took CBE classes with a previous pregnancy or if this is your 2nd, 3rd, 10th child?  What happens if you don’t take them?  Keep reading if you want to find out…

What types of CBE classes are there?  What are the differences between them?

There are many different types of CBE classes and while they all have similarities, they have differences too.  Some of them are strictly for knowledge of the process of birth, while others get into pregnancy and postpartum.  There are classes that are better suited for those birthing outside of a hospital setting, and those where it is more tailored for hospital delivery.  Here are some of them, and a little bit about each so you know where to start in finding the one right for you:

• Bradley: This is the “husband-coached” method of helping to connect you and your partner, while giving him the tools to support you and be your advocate.
• HypnoBirthing / HypnoBabies: These methods use hypnosis and relaxation techniques to keep the mind and body calm throughout labor and birth, with a focus on relieving pain and discomfort.
• Birth Boot Camp: Focuses on natural childbirth and breastfeeding, in a contemporary manner.
• Birthing from Within: A spiritually-focused approach to birth and parenting, based on the book Birthing from Within by Pam England.
• Lamaze: This method has been around since the 1950s and has changed from just the breathing (hee-hee-hoo panting) that we all know, into a well-rounded natural childbirth course.
• Non-Specific Natural Birthing Classes: Many childbirth educators have created their own style of CBE that can be a combination of multiple methods or a creation of the educator’s own making.
• Hospital-Based Classes: These are the classes held at and usually taught by someone affiliated with the hospital (whether on staff or independently hired).  While they can have some information about natural childbirth, the majority of the class is usually about medications, procedures and an overview of the birth process.

Where should I take my CBE classes?

Many CBE classes are held at offices, birth centers, hospitals, or even in the instructor’s home.  My word of advice would be though, if you’re wanting a natural childbirth with as few interventions as possible, take a class that is not affiliated with a hospital, even if you plan to have a hospital birth.  Most of the hospital-based classes I’ve witnessed are focused less on giving you unbiased information so that you can make an informed choice, and more on teaching you on how to be a “good patient” when you arrive in labor.

When do I need to start taking CBE classes?

The answer to this really depends on what type of class you want to take.  For people interested in Bradley classes, I recommend starting in your 2nd trimester since there are more sessions in this class and you want to be done with them all before you go into labor.  If you are planning on taking a class with fewer sessions, that buys you more time before you have to get started.  Overall though, I think it’s a good idea to be taking a class soon after starting your 3rd trimester, if not before.  That way you can benefit from practicing the labor support techniques, breathing exercises, massages (who doesn’t want to have massages practiced on them?!) and relaxation exercises before going into labor.

What will my CBE class discuss?

It really depends on which class you’ll be taking.  Some will focus more heavily on labor support measures and techniques while others will be more information-driven.  All of them though should discuss the following topics (if they’re not hospital-based):

• Benefits of natural birth
• Labor support measures and techniques to help you manage discomfort or pain
• Process of labor, including early, active, pushing and immediate postpartum phases, and what to expect along the way
• When to call your care provider if you’re in labor
• Benefits/risks of medications and procedures
• Creating a birth plan
• Breastfeeding

If I took a CBE class before, do I need to take another?

I get asked this question a lot by moms who have already had another child.  The answer is, it kind of depends on you.  Has it been a long time since your last class?  Do you still remember what you learned?  Do you want to try a different type of class to learn alternative labor support techniques?  Some moms will also just take a “refresher course” with their past CBE instructor to help remind them of things they’ve forgotten or they’ll reread the text book that they received from their past class.

What happens if I don’t take a CBE class?

I’ll throw you in jail and take your sweet baby for myself!  Nah, just kidding! ;-)  Nothing happens if you don’t take a CBE class, and that is both good and bad.  You’re not out the time and expense of a class, but you’re also not reaping the benefits of one.  Moms who take CBE classes and educate themselves have a much higher likelihood of experiencing the birth that they want and feeling more satisfied about their birth outcome.  They’ll know what to expect during labor and birth, as well as things they can do to cope, and the information they’ll need in order to make informed decisions for themselves and their baby. 

In the end, yes, your baby will still be born (you won’t be pregnant for forever!).  Taking a CBE class doesn’t change that, but what it does do is to help shape how you get there.  When you’re driving on a road trip, eventually, you’ll still reach your destination, but what type of journey do you want to have?  If you have constant car trouble, get lost numerous times, or are unable to stop along the way to enjoy life’s blessings, wouldn’t it affect your overall experience and the way you look back on the memories from it? 

Knowing Your Options & Creating a Birth Plan

Did you know that the average couple spends more time researching what car to lease or what house to buy than they do preparing for the birth of their child?  Don’t be a statistic!  Learn about your options so that you can make the best decisions possible regarding your pregnancy, birth and the start of your baby’s life.  In doing so, you can use these options and the ones that are important to you, to create a birth plan to share with your care provider and your doula to make sure you all are on the same page (and if you’re not, it’s time to think about finding someone who is).  Here are some choices you have that you may have never thought about or known were choices before…

Pregnancy

• Care provider

1. Midwife, nurse-midwife or doctor?

• Setting of prenatal visits

1. In your own home, or at an office or birth center? 
2. Can the time/day be when it is convenient for you and your partner or do you have to change your schedule to fit your provider’s?

• Length of prenatal visits

1. How much time would you like to be able to spend with your care provider? 5 minutes, 30 minutes or as long as you need?

• Laboratory testing (blood and urine)

1. Are you giving your consent and is your provider explaining what each test is for?  Are you being given your options or just being told that you need to do something?

• Ultrasounds

1. Are you having ultrasounds recommended to you only when they are necessary or at each visit to measure “size of baby”?  (Side note: ultrasounds in the 3rd trimester can be off by up to 1-2 pounds when it comes to measuring the size of your baby, so don't let this be the only reason why someone suggests an induction)

• Vaginal exams

1. Rarely are they medically necessary prenatally, so are you requesting one or is your care provider pushing for one? 
2. Is your care provider explaining their reasoning and asking your permission rather than just telling you to strip?

• Induction

1. Is your provider discussing induction when it is not medically indicated (ex: big baby, holiday/dinner/golf time approaching, etc)?
2. How long will your provider "let" you go past your due date before wanting to induce?

• Connection with your birth team

1. Do you feel everyone who will be at your birth is there for YOU and with YOUR best interests at heart? 
2. Do you have a relationship with your provider that makes you comfortable and excited to see them at each prenatal and at the upcoming birth?

Birth

• Location of birth

1. Home, birth center or hospital….hopefully not in a car!

• Who you would like present for your birth

1. See my other blog posting about who to invite to your birth

• Clothing

1. Your own clothing vs. an issued gown

• IV

1. Do you want a routine IV placed in your arm to provide fluids?

• Eating and drinking

1. Did you know that most hospitals don’t allow moms to eat or drink in labor?!  Who would have thought that was a “choice”?  (And no, IV fluids are not the same thing when it comes to caloric intake and providing energy in labor, so don't let anyone fool you otherwise)

• Having your water broken ("artificial rupture of membranes")

1. Ask about the benefits vs. the risks, and make the decision that’s right for you.  Don't be afraid to ask for privacy to talk to your partner alone when making a decision.

• Freedom to move however you’d like in labor

1. Would you like to lie down, walk around, be hands and knees, squat, etc? 

• Intermittent fetal monitoring, instead of continuous monitoring

1. This is very important if you want to be able to move around and have a better chance at an unmedicated or low-intervention labor and birth. (Side note: for moms who are higher risk, this might not be an option for you due to safety concerns for baby)

• Epidural

1. While there are benefits to epidurals and they can be helpful tools in labor, they also carry risks and can create a spiral effect of interventions for your birth (ex: urinary catheter, continuous monitoring, episiotomy, vacuum extraction, c-section, etc).  Be aware of the benefits and risks so that regardless of the outcome, you’re happy with your decision.

• Birthing position

1. Shockingly enough, babies can be born without moms on their backs and their feet in the air! (Though you'll be hard pressed to find a doctor who will agree to any other position)

• Water birth

1. Are you wanting to labor or birth in the water?

• Placenta

1. Would you like to be able to see your placenta? 
2. Are you wanting to take it home to plant or encapsulate?

Baby

• Delayed cord clamping

1. At time of birth, 30-40% of your baby’s total blood volume is still in the cord and placenta, so if your provider clamps the cord right away, your baby will be starting life on only 60-70% of the blood they should have had.  (And this is important for all babies, not just premature ones!)

• Skin-to-skin

1. Do you want to have skin-to-skin with your baby for a minute, 5 minutes, or over an hour?  All initial newborn exams and evaluations (ex: APGAR score) can be done with baby on your chest, so unless you think your baby might grow several inches in the first little bit of life, probably okay to delay measuring and weighing baby to give you time to bond.

• Breastfeeding

1. If you want to breastfeed, make sure no one will be giving your baby a bottle of formula/sugar water, or a pacifier

• Vitamin K

1. Do you want your baby to receive injectable, oral or no vitamin K treatment?  Definitely do your research as there are benefits and risks for all 3 options. 

• Erythromycin eye ointment

1. Does your baby need it? (ex: you currently have Chlamydia or Gonorrhea, or could possibly have contracted from your partner it without your knowledge)
2. Can it be delayed so that baby’s sight isn’t impaired during that crucial first hour of bonding?

• Hepatitis B vaccine

1. Does your baby need it? (ex: you’re going to be getting your child tattooed or allowing them to swap fluids with someone who has Hep B, you probably want to get it ;-) )
2. Can it be delayed or does it have to be given within a day or two of birth?

• Rooming-in

1. This is when baby stays with you the entire time instead of being taken into another room or to a nursery.

• Circumcision

1. Research both sides of the argument and inform yourself before making a decision either way.  I always recommend my clients read articles that are both pro- and anti-circumcision to see which resonates with them, as well as watching a video on how the procedure is done so you can be prepared if you choose to do it.  This is a very big decision for your son and you don’t want to make lightly.
2. If you choose to circumcise, can it be delayed until baby is a week old so that there are fewer risks involved?  (ex: hemorrhage, breast aversion, etc)

• Bathing your baby

1. Do you want your baby bathed soon after birth?  At 6 hours, 1 day, 2 days, or 1 week?  There are benefits to allowing the vernix time to soak into your baby's skin, rather than being washed off.  Also, soaps can be very drying to sensitive skin.
2. Who would you like to bathe your baby?  (ex: care provider, nurse, father of the baby, you, etc)  Keep in mind, who do you think will bathe your baby more gently?

There is so much to learn about pregnancy and birth, and I understand it can be very overwhelming for parents to have to consider everything and make so many decisions.  You may think ignorance is bliss, and want to leave all the decisions up to your care provider to decide what is best for you, but don't do it!  If you don’t know where to look to find information, or want to learn more about something, reach out!  Contact someone who does know about these things and have them point you in the right direction.  You can contact your care provider, child birth educator, doula, La Leche League member, or even me!  Regardless, whether you make the decision or you let someone else do it for you, that is still you making a decision....make sure it’s the right one for you.

Party vs. Privacy: Who Should You Invite to Your Birth?

The conversation usually starts with a client asking, “Who can I have at my birth?”, but the answer to that question isn’t really what they’re looking for since my response is, “Anyone you want!”.  I then help them to rephrase their question so they can ask what they’re really wanting to know…..“Who should I have at my birth?”  And that’s a great question, but not one that I can answer for them…

To help my mamas figure out who they should invite to their births, I turn the tables and ask them a few questions:

1. When you picture your ideal birthing experience, who is there with you?

2. Is the person you’re planning to invite supportive of out-of-hospital birth?  Do they understand why you’re choosing this way of birthing vs. going to a hospital? 

3. Do you feel comfortable speaking bluntly and honestly around them without fear of reproach or hurting their feelings?

4. Would you feel comfortable being vulnerable and naked in front of this person?

5. Are you inviting this person for your benefit, or because they want to be invited?

6. What does this person bring to the table in terms of helping you and enhancing your experience?

After they’ve answered these questions, the client will usually know whether or not they should invite that person to their birth.   Once we sort out who is on the “yes” list, we discuss the number of people they want to invite.  One of the midwives who taught me when I was first learning had a saying that I’ve found to be quite accurate over the years…. “For every additional, unnecessary person who is present at a birth, add an hour to the mother’s labor time”.  The reason for this is that the mother tends to feel she is on display and therefore more likely to stay present in her consciousness, rather than letting her instincts kick in and take over. 

But who is considered “unnecessary”?  Only the mother herself can answer that.  I’ve attended births where anyone other than the midwife was considered unnecessary and another where all 25 people in attendance were vital and exactly what that mother needed.  It solely depends on how you picture your birth.

So whether you’re thinking about having a doula, photographer, massage therapist, chiropractor, acupuncturist, mother, mother-in-law, sisters, friends, or your pet dog (yes, I have had several mamas give birth while cuddling their canine companion! J ), choose wisely and make sure the decision is what you want and what will help create the birthing experience of your dreams.

Interview Questions to Ask Your Care Provider

When you are interviewing your care provider (midwife, nurse-midwife, or doctor) before signing on for care (and you definitely should!), it’s difficult to know what questions to ask.  Some people worry that by asking questions, they will inadvertently offend the provider, or that they will “ask a stupid question” and be looked down upon.  I’ll tell you this right now….if your care provider is offended or treats you poorly for asking a legitimate question, they’re not the provider for you!  So how do you know what questions to ask and how to go about interviewing a care provider?  I’ll walk you through it…

When a potential client calls me, I always ask them if they would like to meet me in person before they make a decision.  An in-person interview is a great way to see if you and your provider will make a good team and if the energy is right between you.  I know that sounds hippy-dippy, but it’s true!  Everyone has an energy to them and sometimes it works well with yours and sometimes it doesn’t.  If when you’re talking with them, they’re driving you crazy and you can’t wait to leave, that’s definitely not someone you want to be working with for 9 months.

Some other things to think about, before you even start asking your questions, are: Did this person make time for you without making you feel like you were inconveniencing them?  Were they easy to get ahold of or did they return your call quickly?  Are they charging you for this interview?  Do you feel rushed to hurry up or relaxed in their presence?  Do you feel comfortable talking to this person?  Did they address you and your partner or did they leave one of you feeling left out?  These might not be deal breakers for you, but they should definitely be factors in your decision.

So once you’re actually sitting down and talking (and hopefully the care provider is receptive to your questions), here are some questions I’d recommend you asking.  While all of these questions might not apply or be important to you, they’ll help you to figure out if your provider is supportive of natural childbirth and give you an idea of what you can expect with them…

Overall Questions:

• What is your philosophy regarding pregnancy and childbirth?
• What made you decide to become a midwife/nurse-midwife/doctor?
• What were your births or the births of your children like?
• How many clients/patients do you take on a monthly basis? 
• Will you be on vacation near my due date (especially important if you are due near a major holiday)?
• If I have a problem and it is after office hours, or on a weekend, how can I get ahold of you?
• Would you consider me to be a “higher risk” client/patient because of a certain condition/status? (ex: being age 35 or greater, having had 4 or more prior babies, history of miscarriage, past cesarean section delivery, BMI of 30 or more, etc)
• Can you provide me with letters of reference or contact information for past clients/patients (with their consent, of course) who could talk to me more about what it was like being a client/patient of yours?

Pregnancy Questions:

• What tests/procedures during pregnancy and birth are mandatory?  Which are optional?
• How long will I get to spend with you personally during each of my prenatal appointments?
• What does a typical prenatal visit look like?
• Can I bring my children to my appointments?  Can they be involved in my care (helping to measure belly, holding Doppler to listen to heart beat, etc)?

Birth Questions:

• How many of your clients/patients who intended to birth without pain medications actually go on to do so?
• What is your cesarean section rate?  Episiotomy rate? 
• What percentage of your clients/patients end up having perineal tearing that needs to be repaired?
• Do you routinely do delayed cord clamping?
• How long can my baby and I be skin-to-skin after birth without interruption?
• For what reasons would you ever want to induce my labor?  How far past my due-date can I be before you’ll want to induce?
• Can I eat and drink during labor?  Have freedom of movement? 
• How do you feel about intermittent fetal monitoring in labor?
• Do I have to have an IV during labor?
• Who will you have present for my birth (assistant, nurse, student, etc)? 
• Will you be present at my birth or do you work with others who might ever be there instead of you?
• Can I have anyone I want present to support me in labor or am I limited to who or how many people can be present?
• Can I have pictures taken of my labor and birth?
• What do you think of “birth plans”?

For Out-of-Hospital Midwives Only:

• What is your personal transport rate of clients who ended up at the hospital?  (not the statistical rate for across the country averages)  What were some of the causes for these transports?
• Who is your collaborating physician and what is his/her view of natural childbirth and midwives?
• What is your protocol in case you have 2 clients in labor at the same time?
• At what point will you transport me for an induction of labor?
• How do you feel about water birth?  Do your clients have many water births?

While it might seem like these are a lot of questions to be asking, I can assure you, they’re all important.  Your provider’s answers to these questions (both how they answer it and the answer itself) will help you to determine if they are the right fit for you.  You wouldn’t hire a nanny, general contractor, or employee without questioning them thoroughly, so why does our society view this any differently?  The person you choose could mean the difference between you having the birth you desire and every intervention imaginable.  You are PAYING this person for a service!  You are the customer!  Don’t settle!!!  If you've already signed on with someone when you discover they're not the right fit for you, don't be afraid to switch providers!  Sometimes the only thing that makes a pregnancy high-risk or keeps it from being everything you want, is your choice of care provider. 

Lacey's Birth Story: Emalynn

"I discovered I was finally pregnant with Emalynn almost 8 months after my husband and I began the journey to become pregnant. It seemed like those 8 months were truly years. I was anxious that something was wrong and that we wouldn’t be able to get pregnant. The day the test showed positive, I was an emotional wreck. Earlier that week I had taken 2 pregnancy tests and they had shown negative. The fact that it was positive was a shock, even though I wanted it so badly, and even though my body had been telling me for a while that it was beginning to support a new little life. I had been feeling sick and very tired. The positive pregnancy test was definitely an answer to all of our prayers. This was my second marriage and my 4th pregnancy. Our daughters were 13, 12, and 9. We had all been dreaming and praying that we would get the privilege to add another member to our family.

"The girls were born in a hospital, but with no medications and I wanted Emalynn’s birth to be even more of a natural experience than the first three deliveries. My husband, Aaron, had some concerns. This would be his first baby. Convincing him to use a midwife and deliver at home was difficult. I was 13 years older now than with my first pregnancy. What if something went wrong? We didn’t live far from a hospital, but all of the “what ifs” were definitely on our minds. As my pregnancy progressed and we learned more together about natural birth vs. medicated birth, he began to warm to the idea. I was incredibly thankful that over time he became just as passionate about delivering at home and his own significant role in my labor as I was.

"We also began to talk to our daughters about whether they would like to be part of my labor. My oldest immediately wanted to be there, but the other two were more cautious. I didn’t want to pressure them at all or make them feel guilty for choosing not attend their sister’s birth. I did know that they needed to understand what would take place during my labor. I began to educate them on what they would see if they decided to attend Emalynn’s birth. I didn’t want the blood to scare them, or the noises to make them wonder if something was wrong. All three daughters began to attend all of my midwife appointments with me. My midwife, Alex, was excellent at including the girls in the appointments and explaining everything she was doing. She would let Jenna, my middle daughter, listen to heart sounds with the Doppler. She would let them measure my belly or palpate to find the baby. It gave them some ownership in what was taking place in my body. I began to use the phrase “When WE go into labor…”. I wanted them to know we thought of them as part of our birthing team. We asked each of the girls what they wanted their roles to be. They all had wonderful ideas of what they wanted to do and Alex helped them take ownership of their jobs. When we were all discussing the birth she would mention, ”Andi, this is where you would help me get some water for Mom…”. I loved watching their excitement build as time went by. I also did a mini birthing class for them. I gave them a color page of the womb and explained some of the words they would hear; placenta, uterus, dilation, bag of waters, etc. I also talked to them about contractions and what the stages of labor would look like. Being intentional to prepare the girls made the difference, I believe, in how they felt and what they experienced in our labor. By the end of my 39th week, each of our daughters were all in and ready to bring their sister into the world.

"Around 36-37 weeks I began to have some very good contractions. Some of the contractions would even stop me in my tracks and cause me to wait for them to pass. This was the first pregnancy that I had such strong contractions before labor. I worked hard to keep in mind that it would still be a long time before we met our little girl. I tried to remind myself that feeling contractions did not mean that I would go into labor any time soon. This became more and more difficult as the due date grew closer. Two different times I thought I was in labor when I wasn’t. I had regular contractions, discharge, and even one time had some emotional signs that it was going to be anytime now. Emalynn still decided to wait. My due date passed. My husband and I began to use some of the natural induction techniques that our midwife suggested. Almost a week after my due date, December 2nd, we (Alex, Aaron, and I) decided that it was a good time to strip my membranes to help induce labor. Alex reminded us that it wasn’t a guarantee. She reminded us that if my body wasn’t ready that this would cause some contractions and then they would stop. That is exactly what happened. By that evening the contractions had puttered out. I was very disappointed and went to bed thinking that the membrane strip had failed to induce labor.

"However, by 3 am some strong contractions woke me up. They were very uncomfortable, but I was able to rest through them and decided not to time them. I figured if I could sleep through them they weren’t “the real thing”. By the time I woke up, the contractions had regulated in duration, but were still erratically spaced apart. In my understanding, that meant it wasn’t “real” labor. I still suggested my husband stay home from work just in case. Alex came by mid-morning and checked me for dilation. I was dilated to 5cm. She said that I was on a teeter-totter. My labor could begin today, or it could putter out.  I asked her to strip my membranes again and she suggested we do a lot of walking, use essential oils and take black/blue cohosh. All five of us went for a brisk walk in the neighborhood. This is one of my favorite memories of the day. It was beautiful out, and the girls and Aaron were all so supportive. They kept asking how far apart the contractions were. We had Lexi, our oldest, begin timing contractions. During our walk the contractions were regular, about 8 minutes apart and 1 ½ minutes long. To our great disappointment they became erratic again when we finished our walk. We decided, if I was in labor, it was going to be a while, so our friend came and picked up the girls to go play. This gave my husband and me some “time”. We also took a short nap and then Aaron went to the grocery store. While he was gone I took a shower.

"This is the point I began to feel things change. I began to notice the contractions were closer and even double peaking at times. I began to feel some anxiety and panic. I called my midwife and told her what I was noticing. I wanted to see if she thought that I was in true labor. The contractions were still unevenly spaced, but were lasting a good 1½ minutes. She said she believed that I finally had entered true labor and that I should have Aaron come home from the store. Thankfully, he was right around the corner when I called him. He immediately began putting up the birthing tub in the living room, and the girls came home. My dear friend Rossella, who had come to town all the way from Oregon for our labor, arrived as well. Alex suggested I lie down on my side to help slow things down a bit. She hoped this would help with my anxiety. Rossella came and held my hand while Aaron worked on the tub, which was not going smoothly at all. Alex called her friend Sara to come and assist her. She was concerned her second midwife, who was coming from an hour and a half away, wouldn’t make it in time. The girls were coming in and out of the bedroom checking on me. Giving me kisses and laying beside me on the bed. Sara came and took over the tub, so that Aaron could come and coach me. Before I knew it, I was standing by the bed, and all 4 of my loves were lying on the bed helping me breathe through each contraction. It was a precious moment. I would put my head down and focus through a contraction, and then look up to all 4 of them being right there beside me.

"About an hour after I had first called Alex, the birthing tub was ready. I climbed in the water and it felt wonderful! It took a while to get the water the right temperature, but I think that was more about me feeling hot and then cold so quickly. The contractions were getting very hard. Jenna was concerned about me and I reminded her that all the contractions were “good contractions”. I reminded her that hard meant that it was bringing Emalynn lower in my pelvis. Alex reminded me to surrender to the birth and let my body do its work. I worked hard to stay relaxed during contractions and not dread them. Rossella would say “get on top of the contraction”. This helped me remember that I was in control of the pain. As the contraction came on, I would bow my head and relax that much more. Between the contractions I was still able to visit and be light hearted with the people that were there. The second midwife, Helena, got to the house and stepped right in, helping Alex. My friend Brittany arrived and began taking pictures. She was also an emotional support for the girls. The three girls were helping the midwives with whatever they needed, getting me a drink or getting the lights just right. I remember this time very fondly. It was peaceful and relaxing. Aaron was right behind me, helping me remember not to hold my shoulders up, or scrunch my forehead. He helped me feel more and more calm. The Christmas lights on our Christmas tree were the only lighting in the room and the whispers of my birthing team was the single sound in the house. Alex asked me if I would like to put on some music. I told her that it would just feel like noise at this point.

"I felt like Emalynn was so low, that her head had to be touching the pool. Alex took her heart tones and said she sounded wonderful, and that her heart rate was not even changing during contractions. That meant she was under no stress, but also that she wasn’t feeling the contractions. This was possibly because I had so much amniotic fluid cushioning her. I knew from my previous births that my bag of waters was very thick and didn’t break on their own.  Alex and I had discussed breaking them earlier in the labor if things were progressing in a healthy way. It was evident my bag of waters was keeping Emalynn from coming down on my cervix and helping dilation, so I moved to the bed and Alex checked me. It was right around 5 pm when she checked my cervix; I was dilated to 7 cm. We sat and discussed whether to break the waters now, or wait. During this few moments of laughing and talking together Alex felt my cervix dilate to a full 8 cm. Wow! It was such an amazing moment. We were seeing the joy and relaxation we had communicate to my body that it was okay to progress further. That is was safe. That is was time. We decided it was good to puncture the bag of waters so that Emalynn could move down further. We were all shocked by the amount of fluid that came out when she ruptured my water. The amniotic fluid would gush during each contraction.

"Immediately, I felt the contractions change. They were harder and more painful. It was difficult to relax lying on my back. I wanted to get in the tub again to see if I could get focused and regain control over my body. I returned to the birthing tub and Aaron climbed in with me. He sat behind me. I was able to lean into him between contractions. He would support my body in order for me to completely relax my legs and hands. In spite of the fact that the contractions were very intense, we were able to talk and laugh between them. Aaron was still making jokes. He said “Just don’t pee in the water, okay?”. We all had a good laugh over that. Our girls were all very close to us, watching as everything unfolded. Lexi had my Mom on FaceTime, so that she could experience the birth, even though she was not able to be with us. Aaron was amazed at how much more he could feel Emalynn by touching my tummy now. I could actually feel her moving lower with each squeeze of my uterus and knew that it would not be long.

"The midwives began to add more hot water and I focused on what I was feeling, lying back on Aaron’s shoulder. He was right there, whispering reassurances in my ear. Alex was checking baby’s heart rate. As she was leaning over the tub, I began wondering why I had not felt the urge to push yet. I thought “Maybe if I lean into the contraction it will help her get lower.” I was shocked that as soon as I leaned forward I felt Emalynn beginning to crown. I told Alex that I felt the “ring of fire.” It was very intense. My body took over and I began pushing. Alex encouraged me to slow down and breathe. She told me to give a ½ push. Most of her head delivered. Everyone was so excited. On the next contraction I barely gave one full push before Emalynn came bursting into our world. Alex leaned down quickly to pull her out of the water and place her in my arms.

"I was amazed that it was already over. I felt complete victory and pure joy as I held her up against me. It all happened so fast. I looked up and around the tub to see each of the girl’s sweet faces right near us, watching our sweet Emalynn as she let out her first cries. Aaron was stroking her and Andi reached out to help rub in the vernix on baby’s skin. I think everyone in the room was crying tears of sweet joy, except maybe Emalynn. Poor thing had been delivered so quickly that she was crying from the surprise of it all. I tore a little from the quick delivery, and the fact that our girl beat the record for biggest baby in our family. She was 9 pounds 8 ounces! 

Dad weighing his baby girl

"She arrived at 5:47 pm; only 30 minutes after Alex ruptured my water. Emalynn was a healthy beautiful girl! Aaron did cut the cord and the rest of the delivery went smoothly. Our family prayed and cried together that our precious girl was here safely. Each step of the way I was surrounded by my amazing husband, our precious daughters, my dear friends an incredible midwife, and two great birth attendants. I am forever grateful for this experience. I can’t imagine birthing any future children in another environment. It was peaceful. It was calm. It was exactly what I had hoped it would be and more."  -Lacey B.

Dad leading everyone in prayer, thanking God for Emalynn's safe birth

A Midwife's Own Birth Story: Part Two "Hunter Jackson"

When I became pregnant with Hunter in 2010, I was not only thrilled that we would be welcoming a new little one into our family, but also that I would have the chance to give birth differently than with my daughter.   While her birth was wonderful (see my other blog posting “A Midwife’s Own Birth Story: Part One Keira Sage”), it felt like something was missing for me.  I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I knew I wanted something different….something more empowering. 

Since we weren’t living with my husband’s parents this time around, we were going to be having a home birth.  I was so excited!  I spent months before and during this pregnancy envisioning what I wanted to have happen, where I wanted the birthing tub set up, the music I would have playing, where my candles would go, etc.  I wanted autonomy this time around, and the ability to listen to my body and trust my intuition.  This “idea” of my dream birth and being able to welcome my little boy into the world in such a perfect way, was what kept me going when things were very difficult. 

My pregnancy with Hunter was horrible.  I was sick all day everyday for months, had severe heartburn, stomach ulcers, an ovarian cyst that ruptured, constant back pain and sciatica….all while taking care of a 3 year old, being a wife, studying and apprenticing full-time to be a midwife, and working as a birth doula.  It was overwhelming! 

I had a lot of “false alarms” toward the end.  I would start having regular contractions for several hours and then they would just stop.  This drove me crazy, of course!  Here I am studying to be a midwife and I can’t even tell when I’m in real labor or not!  I knew he was going to come when he was ready, but I thought he’d be coming earlier than his sister who was 8 days late.  Sure enough though, 40 weeks came and went, followed by 41 weeks, and still no labor. 

On the morning of December 23rd, at 41 weeks and 3 days, I woke up having mild contractions around 4:30am.  I tried to sleep through them for a while, but around 6am, I couldn’t sleep anymore and got out of bed to go make some breakfast.  The contractions were starting to get slightly more intense, but they were still spaced out to about 6-7 minutes apart, so I didn’t feel the need to wake up my husband Jeff or call my midwife.   My 4 year old daughter Keira woke up around 6:30am and came out to check on me.  She saw me swaying from side to side and leaning over the counter top gently moaning, all while making some scrambled eggs (home births are much more laid back ;-) ).  She knew what was happening (we’d been preparing her for months on what to expect) and got really excited that today was the day her brother was coming!  I asked her to go wake up Daddy shortly thereafter since the contractions were starting to come about every 4-5 minutes now, and I could hear her run into our bedroom excitedly shouting, “Hunter’s coming! Hunter’s coming!” Needless to say, my husband jumped out of bed very quickly to come check on me!  I asked him to go ahead and call the midwife Kerin (who was one of my midwifery teachers), our doula CarolAnn (who was a dear friend), my mom, and my best friend Amy to let them know what was going on so they could start making their way over. 

Once I knew everything had been taken care of, I just tuned the world out and got “into” my own body.  Time stood still.  I would alternate between leaning forward on the countertop while squatting my knees and actually getting on my hands and knees on the floor in the living room.  I was able to hear what my body was telling me to do and that felt wonderful.  My midwife and doula arrived very quickly it seemed, but they both entered my home with such a calm and gentle presence that I didn’t even notice they were there at first.  They matched my energy perfectly and I knew they were there to support me in the way I wanted and needed them to. 

During one of my contractions, I started praying to God, asking Him to give me what I needed to help this labor progress and for me to be able to cope with it.  I was worried about having a long labor and with my constant back pain, I didn’t know how much of it I could take.  Kerin suggested that Jeff and I go for a walk around the block to help kick my labor into the next level and get things moving more quickly for me (and luckily we were living in California at the time, so the weather wasn’t too cold!).

The three of us set out on a walk (Jeff, CarolAnn and I) while Kerin stayed at the house to play with Keira until my mom could get there to watch her.  The walk definitely worked its magic and put me into a good active labor pattern, but the 45 minutes it took to get around my block were definitely interesting.  Let me paint a picture for you…

-First, you should know that our house was situated at the top of a hill, and while the beginning of the walk was fairly easy since it was downhill, the end of the walk when I had to start walking back up the hill, while in active labor with contractions 3 minutes apart lasting 60 seconds, was not so easy.  Luckily, I had my husband to lean on during every contraction and my doula to use a robozo (large piece of cloth) to help lift my belly and help with my pelvic and back pain. 

-Second, you should know that when you’re in labor, you don’t care about what you’re wearing.  Since it never entered my mind that I might want to change out of my pajamas before walking around my neighborhood, I ended up walking in my big, ugly, purple “purchased for pregnancy only” pajama bottoms, a big sweatshirt and house slippers. 

-Third, you should know that things don’t always appear to others the way you think they do.  During an especially hard contraction, I had to stop on the sidewalk in front of a neighbor’s house to lean forward on my husband and needed my doula to do a pelvic hip squeeze while standing behind me to help with back/hip pain.  All of a sudden, an old lady opens up her front door and is watching us with confusion written all over her face.  She calls out to us and asks if we needed an ambulance called.  “Nope, just having a baby!”  my husband replied, and we continued our trek back to the house.  I’ve always thought back to that moment and wondered what she thought of all that!

Once we arrived back at the house around 9am, I greeted my mom and Amy who had arrived and then I sat on the floor next to my midwife.  She listened to Hunter’s heartbeat and asked me if I’d like to be checked.  I was curious so we went ahead and had her check.  I was 5cm!  Not too bad for only being in good, active labor for about an hour.  I wanted to get in the tub so Jeff started filling it up for me.  I had had it already inflated and ready to go in the dining room for weeks (much to Keira’s delight, “We have a pool in our house!!”), so all it needed was warm water. 

About 20 minutes later, I was sinking into a tub of blissfully warm water, with candlelight and my favorite music around me.  For this birth, I had a new favorite song that I considered to be the theme-song for my birth: “Amazing” (listen to it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qezpzQWtheU).  When that song started playing, every emotion I had came to the surface and I began crying.  I felt intense joy, pain, excitement, self-doubt, and peace all at the same time.  It was so cathartic for me to hear the song that had been my “birth anthem” for the past few months and it really allowed me to open up and let go.  After the fact, my husband told me that Keira and my mom were crying along with me as they sat near the tub where I was sitting.  It was a moment where all 3 generations were just allowing our feelings to flow without censure or embarrassment.  Even though I had people all around me, I didn’t feel on display or under a microscope as everyone was very conscientious about their words and actions, and I had picked all of them to be there with me.  Most of the time, the room was silent except for the sounds of my music and my loud moans during contractions (I’m not a quiet birther). 

It was important for me to have Jeff get into the tub with me again as he had with my first birth.  He became my rock and anchor in that water.  I had room to move away from him if I needed space, but he was right there close by for those times when I needed to lay my head on his shoulder and feel his arms around me.  He and CarolAnn would alternate putting pressure on my back to help with the pain, while I remained on my hands and knees with my forehead resting on the tub walls the whole time.  I couldn’t imagine getting into any other position as every cell in my body was telling me this is what I needed to be doing.  I remember feeling as though I’d reached my limit at one point (the place everyone gets to when they think they can’t keep going) and with my eyes closed, quietly said out loud to the room, “I think I’m about to lose it”.  I was immediately and gently reassured by everyone that I was doing great, just had a little more to go.  (They told me afterwards that when I said that, it took them by surprise since I was so calm between contractions they would have never guessed I was feeling that way)  I remember feeling my strength and resolve renewed by their support.  I didn’t want to go to the hospital, didn’t want pain meds, didn’t need anything….just the support and strength from those around me and their belief that I could do it.

My midwife Kerin was very sweet to me during my birth.  She knew that I didn’t want my birth to be “medicalized” and that I wanted to be able to do my own thing, and she respected that.  Of course she monitored Hunter’s heartbeat intermittently to make sure he was doing well, but otherwise, she was just sitting in the corner, watching and waiting for when I would need her.  Another friend of mine, Laura, showed up to assist Kerin with my birth (births are always safest when there are two trained professionals in attendance) and I was so entrenched in my own world that it took me a while before I even knew she was there. 

Around 12pm, I began feeling an urge to push.  Pushing felt amazing and really helped to take my mind off of the contractions, but after a bit, I became frustrated because I didn’t feel any progression of his head within my body.  It felt like my pushing efforts weren’t having any effect.  I asked Kerin to check me while I was still in the tub and make sure I was fully dilated.  When she told me I was 7-8cm, I was depressed and frustrated!  Why wasn’t my body doing what it was supposed to?  Why was I feeling an urge to push when I wasn’t 10cm yet?  How much longer was this going to take?  She told me that my water bag was bulging out in front of the baby’s head making me feel like there was pressure and giving me the urge to push, but that’s why I wasn’t making any progress—his head was being cushioned by the water bag and wasn’t putting pressure on the cervix to open.  I told her I wanted her to break my water because I didn’t know how much longer I could keep going with my back and hips hurting as much as they were, and I wanted things sped up. 

So she broke my water and I got back into my hands and knees position.  With the next contraction, I felt Hunter’s head drop onto my perineum, ready to come out.  “His head’s right here” I said as I reached down and felt his soft little head starting to emerge.  I took a deep breath and was getting ready to push with all of my might when Laura leaned down and whispered into my ear, “Remember what you wanted….don’t push…..just let him come on his own”.   Her reminding me of what I wanted triggered the HypnoBirthing I’d been practicing and my body and mind went into a deep state of relaxation. 

I don’t remember much of the next ten minutes, only that I didn’t feel as much pain as I previously had been, and that I felt deeply relaxed.  I was still aware of my surroundings, but it was as if I was in a peaceful fog.  With each of the next few contractions, my body spontaneously pushed his head down further and further, with no help from me.  I could feel myself stretching, and since my hand remained on his head, could feel him coming closer and closer.  When I calmly announced to the room that his head was out, it shocked my husband because he didn’t even know that my body had been pushing!  My brain seemed to re-engage at this point, and my midwifery training kicked in.  I felt for a cord around his neck and told the midwife there was none.  His shoulders felt like they were both trying to come at the same time instead of one in the front of the other though, and I remember having a moment of panic thinking, “How’s he ever going to come out of me?!”.  Kerin helped one shoulder come through, then the other.  I had my hands on him the whole time, reaching through my legs as I was kneeling in the tub.  Once the shoulders were out, she took her hands away and let me do the rest.  I gave a gentle push and out he came into my hands. 

At 12:43pm on December 23, 2010, I brought Hunter Jackson up out of the water and laid him in my arms.  My husband was sitting in front of me looking in awe and wonder at our new little son, and my daughter was standing next to me outside of the tub, smiling over the edge at her baby brother.  All around us, there were happy tears and joyous smiles.  A moment in time where the birth of one of God’s miracles was witnessed by all and we would be forever joined together by that moment. 

I loved not having to go anywhere after giving birth!  With my first being at a birth center, within a few hours of giving birth, I had to get into a car and sit on my sore bottom the whole way home...this time was amazing.  My midwife just tucked me into my own bed with my new baby and I didn't have to do anything.  When Kerin did Hunter's newborn exam on the bed right next to me (she didn't take my son away from me or out of my sight), she had Keira help her listen to his heartbeat to have my little girl continue feeling involved in the process of her brother's birth.  

Hunter’s birth gave me back the power I felt I’d lost at Keira’s, and it filled me with such a sense of pride in myself and what I had accomplished.  While my second birth was more intense than my first, it was also the way I’d always pictured my perfect birth.  I felt reborn and healed, and will be forever grateful to those who helped me achieve it.

What does a home birth look like?

I get asked this question frequently by first time moms or moms who have only ever had hospital births before, but this question doesn’t have a quick answer.  How do you describe the most incredible experience a mother will ever have?  How do you put into words the sense of astonishment and pride she will feel in herself when she reaches down to pull that sweet baby onto her chest for the first time?  Or the joy of a father at being able to catch his own baby? Or the emotional, physical and spiritual connection that develops between those persons present to witness another of God’s miracles?  I’ll never be able to fully put into words what a home birth looks like, but for those who’ve never experienced one, I’ll try…..

Most of the moms who hire me are interested in having a water birth, or at least using the water to labor in.  The benefits of water during labor and birth are numerous for mom and baby (but that’s another blog topic ;-) ).  The tub is large enough to allow mom a full range of motion and room to change positions easily, while also allowing space for dad to be in there with her if he desires.  In the water, her muscles relax and endorphins kick in even stronger to help her stay calm and focused. 

Many moms will have candles lit and their favorite music playing during labor.  It sets whatever tone she would like for her birth and gets everyone on the same page.  (I’ve heard everything from “Enya” to “Metallica” played at a birth!)  Sometimes she will even begin swaying and singing to the music as her body creates this beautiful rhythm of labor.  It helps with the discomfort of the contractions by distracting the mind and body, and sometimes dad will get involved slow dancing with mom and it just makes for such a sweet image. 

At a home birth, anyone you want can be in attendance, without the restrictions of age or number of “visitors”.  I have seen births where there was no one else present, and a birth where there were 25 people present.  Each of these births felt perfect and complete for the mother herself and in keeping with her wishes.  Older siblings can be present to be a part of the experience, and can be as involved as they’d like.  Whether it’s rubbing their mom’s back, giving her kisses, or whispering sweet encouragements into her ear, that older child feels that they too are an important part of this birth and it helps them to bond with the baby as their own.

When the time comes for the baby to be born, the mother can be however and wherever she’d like.  There is no standard position that she must move into, or a certain place where she must be in order to give birth.  She can follow her instincts and feel for what her body needs her to do.  Some moms want to catch their own babies, and other times I have dads who are jumping at the bit to be the first person with their hands on that new baby.  As their midwife, my role sometimes is just to sit back and watch the parents’ instincts kick in and let them take the reins, rather than giving into my own desires to wrap my arms around that sweet newborn ;-).

There really is nothing that a mom has to do or not do when she’s having a home birth with a midwife.  She gets to call all the shots and is completely supported by those around her.  She feels safe in her own little cave in the world, and is uninterrupted in her peace.  There are no strangers, no loud noises, no people trying to hurry her labor process, and no unfamiliar machines wrapping themselves all around her.  She is seen and treasured for the unique person she is, and the brave journey she is undertaking in bringing her child Earth-side.

I’ve experienced hundreds of births and each one is unique and special in its own way, and each of them has left lasting impressions on my heart and mind.  There have been births where I have been so touched by either my connection with the family or seeing the parents’ love for each other that I’ve been unable to stop myself from joining in the joyous crying that inevitably comes from such a miraculous moment in life.  And that’s what I love about being a midwife: I get to bond with families over the months of pregnancy, until we are like family and I’m just as excited as they are when labor begins.  And when that time comes and a new life is born into this world, I am so lucky as to be chosen to have a front row seat to the most incredible show on Earth. 

So when I get to the end of trying to explain all of this to the person asking, how do I answer their question of what a home birth looks like?  It looks like Heaven on Earth.